Sometimes I hate my life. I'm left alone so often I forget what it's like to be part of anything. Since mom died, and all my animals died, it's like, I died.
I'm told I'm loved and that I'm other good things. I'm told I'm thought of. What I am, is left alone to ask myself, if this is true, why am I always alone?
I like my own company just fine, and I love myself. So I guess I'm proving a few more clichés wrong. Seems to be something I do often.
I work on changing things but so far results are too small to matter. I saw some post at facebook, whatever those things are called, that said something like, if you don't feel like your progressing in life, look back at how far you've come.
I look back and see I didn't have shit, but I was happy because I had my little animal family, and even a few humans that seemed to like me.
I have my kitty Blue now, but he acts more like he puts up with me more than he likes me. He stays with me and sits with me, so I feel honored like I always do when an animal chooses to be with me.
Maybe I am desperate, and that does have a smell and everyone, even he, is put off by it.
Or maybe this is killing me, and that has a smell, and he sees no reason to get closer to me.
I'll keep working on charges I want, the Craft, and teaching myself that I matter.
Goddess help.me.